I think my friend might be an addict….
What should I do?

There are many reasons why people develop addictions. Often there is no one cause, but a whole series of events, feelings or pressures, which make the person, feel unable to cope. These can include:

• Changes in the family
• Death of someone special
• Problems at school
• Lack of confidence
• Sexual or emotional abuse

You might notice that your friend's behaviour has changed, or that what started out as a bit of fun seems to have suddenly turned more serious for them.

She can't be an addict!

We tend to think of addicts, particularly drug addicts, as either people rich and famous with money to burn, or homeless and penniless on the streets. The truth is though that anyone can develop an addiction. There are often many reasons why someone gets addicted.

What can you do to help?

When people we care about are in trouble our first instinct is often to try and make it better for them. But if you can, try not to give advice, give time - and listen. They may just need you to be there when things are hard to cope with. Listen to what they are saying and gently encourage them to seek professional help. Offer to go with them if that would help, but don't take responsibility for their addiction; it is still their responsibility to seek help for themselves as this is the only way they will get better in the long term.

Should I try and force them to stop?

99.9% of the time, we would say no. Ultimately your friend has the right to choose when and what they do. If you try and bully someone out of their addiction you will force them to become even more secretive about it. The only time we would consider this is if you believe there is an immediate danger to their life and/or safety.

Should I tell someone?

No-one likes to be a grass. But if you are concerned about your friend's health and safety, then you need to tell someone, both for their sake and yours. Is there an adult you trust that you could tell; possibly a teacher or a parent or an older sibling? Don't just go around telling all your friends; otherwise your friend could end up feeling betrayed and like everyone is talking about him/her. Go to someone older and wiser.

You may have to face the fact that they may not like what you have done, even if you did it for their best, but in time they will appreciate your decision. Do it as gently and quietly as you can and only tell those you have to, and the impact on your friendship will not be as big. Sometimes we have to do what we know is right even if we are fearful our friends may be angry or upset with us, because we care about them and want the best for them, even if that is difficult to do.

Acceptance
Support
Information